Infertility and Loss led to foster-to-adopt, the best decision ever.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:00:00

Over the holidays, when we were stuck in our house by ourselves and couldn't invite anyone over and it was just us and we were all just, you know, having hot chocolate and great food and just being with each other. Those moments of pure joy is what it's all about. That's what it is. That's when you're just like, Oh, God, it was totally worth it.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:00:28

It's the Foster to Forever podcast. Happy stories of non traditional families born through Foster to Adopt. I'm your host, Rachel Fulginiti sitting right in front of me is my favorite person in the world. My husband, Joe Fulginiti wow. Hi. Hi. How you doing? Good. Nice to see you.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:01:01

Nice to see you too. It's been a while. Yep.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:01:05

We just moved into a new house and so our lives have been insane with the holidays. Then we both got COVID and the new house and the two kids. It's been an extravaganza. Let me tell

Joe Fulginiti: 00:01:18

you. Yeah, the move was

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:01:20

treacherous. It was, yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot, but it's over. It's behind us now. Yep. We're on to greener pastures. Joe, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to join me. Today, and, um, I wanted to get your take because obviously you've lived through it as well. But I think it's interesting to get the man's take and not that it's particular to gender, but the partner's take. Right. So you. The listeners have heard my story, I'm wondering as you reflect on what we've been through over the last 7, 8, 10 years, I guess, all in probably 10, 11, 12 years. With the, with the infertility stuff, as you reflect on the whole journey, um, what sticks out for you?

Joe Fulginiti: 00:02:13

Yeah, I mean, what sticks out to me is how wonderful it is now. So, I'm trying to do the same thing with the move. I'm trying to put the move as far behind me as possible and just enjoy the now. And when we were in the process of adopting Izzy, It was, it was hard. I remember, you know, it was all to me, like the, the most stressful part was the court dates. So he went to all the court dates. I went to a few of them and man, when you're in that courtroom, I remember the feeling of walking. We were in the hallway of the courts, whatever that courtroom was in, um, downtown L. A.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:03:00

Edelman Children's Court. Yeah. In downtown L. A. Yep.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:03:03

I remember being in the hallways with hundreds of other families and kids and, you know, there's all types of court cases going on there, but when they call us into the courtroom. And that cop walked us in. The bailiff. The bailiff. I just remember the feeling of my entire chest collapse. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like all the oxygen left the room. And I was like, Oh my God, this is so stressful. Yeah. And I also never felt like we had a say. Like, remember, you know, we were way in the back and there was a Lawyer for the baby, a lawyer for the mom, birth mom, lawyer for the birth dad, and then a lawyer for the county or something. And there was no lawyer for us and we just were never represented and it was that helpless feeling because the judge was so intimidating. That's

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:03:53

right. You're, you're, you're, uh, zeroing in on something, which is, it's true. The foster family is, there, there's no one really in the equation that's on the foster family's side or advocating for the foster family. As a foster family, you need to advocate for yourself. And it's a very delicate dance because you can't piss anybody off and you don't want to make enemies. And you don't want to come off as too, quote unquote, aggressive, as we were told. Yeah. And, um, yeah, it's a difficult spot to be in. It really is because when you go in the courtroom, you're not even allowed to speak. You just kind of sit there in the back and listen and they talk really fast. And really low, so you can't hear what's going on and it's, it's like, and then it's over

Joe Fulginiti: 00:04:45

and then it was over so fast and the birth mom's lawyer was constantly asking for extensions and extensions. She couldn't get a hold of birth mom. She probably didn't even try, you know, or made, made a phone call. And so all of that was. Like, we're like, what? You know, remember that? We were in the back going, wait a second, this is like the fourth court date.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:05:10

Right. And, and ironically, like the birth mom never appeared, but she still has a court appointed lawyer. And so does the, the birth father. Right. So, um. They have to do their due diligence on behalf of their client. And so that's what they do. So they would get extensions or they would preserve their rights, you know, because it's a whole step by step process of terminating parental rights. It doesn't happen overnight, and rightfully so. They give them ample opportunity. They give them services. And then they have to see if they are engaging the services. And then if they're not, then they can ask for an extension. The whole thing, it was explained actually to us, um, that even though it takes a long time and it's really frustrating, it's actually good that it takes a long time because that means they've given every opportunity so that by the time you get to that final determination, You know, you know, it's a sure thing. It's not going to be reversed and that you're first in line because now you've had this child for like two years, so that that's kind of the point behind it. But yeah, I do agree that the court dates were the scariest times for me. And also, just so you know, Joe started a brand new job that was a two and a half hour commute one way. Like, a few weeks before we started fostering, right? Like before we brought Izzy home, like two weeks before or something? Crazy? Yeah, or one week. Yeah, it was, it was insane. It was like right at the same time. So he, we brought this baby home and then all of a sudden he was commuting two and a half hours away. And I was just had this baby and that was really difficult and I had to go to the court dates because he was New and he didn't feel comfortable being like I need this day off and this day off. So that was Extremely stressful. Yeah for me.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:07:07

Yeah, and I It's, um, it's necessary and all that, but when you're, when you're the parent or the foster parent, you just, you're like everyone else, you're worried about yourself and you're also, we were all, you know, it was every three months, so every three months we're like that much more in love with Izzy, you know, so, and then it becomes like, well, wait a second, I, I'm the parent now, you know, like, when is that point where it feels right to everyone that, Where are the parents over the birth mom and I get that the birth mom is really important But if the birth mom is just absent, when is it when is it right to change parents, right? And that's that was always true. I was always struggling with that, too I wanted her to be I wanted Isabella to have the absolute best chance at a great life So, you know, I guess after 18 months is when I was like, okay, how much more time do you

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:08:09

need? Right. Right. Um, Joe, can you talk a little bit about the beginning? Did you feel the need to protect yourself a little bit? Um, he's smiling because it's a leading question. I actually know the answer to this one. Good one. But I want the listeners to know, um, can you talk about that a

Joe Fulginiti: 00:08:31

little bit? Yeah. So everyone has their own strategy because when we were in with the, um, extraordinary family, um, training classes. We got to meet a lot of the other parents that wanted to foster, and so I met a lot of dads and moms that had their own strategy, like how to, how to like do this without getting wicked hurt, you know, because we, I had talked to some people that it didn't work out for and it was brutal. Can you

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:09:04

just share briefly who that was and

Joe Fulginiti: 00:09:08

what happened? It was our chiropractor's, uh, one of her patients. And I don't really, we didn't really know her that well. But she had done foster care, I think it was like a year and a half too. I think it was 18 months for her. Right when they thought they were going to adopt, they changed the judge and the new judge came in and the old judge was going to terminate parental rights. The new judge came in and didn't. And they never got the child and they were devastated because they, you know, 18 months, two years of being with a baby and they had a baby too. And um, you know, you get Unbelievably attached. So, you know, that's always in your head,

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:09:50

but. So what was your strategy for, for dealing with that? Did you start out with?

Joe Fulginiti: 00:09:56

Yeah, I was, I was, my strategy was to back you up a hundred percent. And not get too, I tried to keep my distance from her. Mm hmm. And so for, for the first three months I was like, Okay, I'm, you know, I'm handling this. It was a, it was an infant, it was a newborn. It was so. It's strange to me, and we didn't have that nine month, you know, runway that most parents get to prep for it and get ready for it and take Lamaze classes and learn about being a parent to a newborn. You just, you get the call, you go down to the hospital and you have about five minutes with the nurses. They teach you how to feeder, when the feeder, what kind of stuff to get, what kind of formula to get. And then that's it. They're like, okay. Remember I asked the nurse, I was like, will you come home? Um, so my strategy was to keep my distance from her so I wouldn't get absolutely devastated by it because I knew you weren't going to do that. You were going right in and your philosophy was just love her like she's yours from day one and just don't think of anything else, which was a great idea. But I didn't do that until we went to New York. So three months in, we had to come back to New York for a wedding. We had her for three months and I was like, what are you going to, we're going to fly with a three month old baby? And you're like, of course we are. And then you asked the judge, you have to get permission to leave the state or the county. And we got permission. We took her in an airplane with a baby seat and the whole thing. And when we were, we got into New York, we rented a car, we put the baby seat in the back seat of the car, I sat in the back seat of the car with her, and you were driving from JFK up to New Paltz, and on that drive is when I fell in love with her. I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't think about anything else after that drive. She was looking at me and she was holding my fingers. And she had never made that kind of, you know, eye contact with me at that point. She's only three months. Yeah. That whole time I just thought, okay, this baby thing is going to be easy because I, I'm just going to be there and take care of her. But I didn't, I didn't know the connection would be that powerful until that day. Wow. On the drive. It was an hour and a half drive.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:12:17

Did you realize it on the drive? I remember you telling me later, did you realize it at

Joe Fulginiti: 00:12:20

that moment? Oh yeah. I knew I, I fell in love with her on that drive. Yeah. It was undeniable. I

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:12:27

think it's absolutely impossible to not. You know, I mean, I just think it's impossible to not fall in love. And the whole thing is like, my whole thing was, you know, she deserves to be held like we're never going to let go, no matter what happens. She deserves that whether it's for a day or a week or a month or a year or however long, you know, you can't withhold. Love from a human being from an

Joe Fulginiti: 00:12:57

infant. Yeah, we we had just been through so much child Yeah, we we had been through so much. Yeah Failure before that. I just I wanted to be I wanted to make sure that I wasn't gonna crumble right in front of you so I wanted to make sure I could support you and that's That was my, I'm not saying it was right. It was, and I don't even know how I held it. I, I mean, I, I don't even know how I kept it together for the first three months and didn't fall in love with her. Cause she's so, she's so amazing. I

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:13:29

know. Looking back now, don't you, aren't you like, God, those first three months, I wish I was more like present. Do you feel that?

Joe Fulginiti: 00:13:37

No, I, no. No? No, because I was.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:13:41

I was there. Yeah, you were. And also, you were doing that new job, so you were like, all over the place with the new job. Yeah,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:13:47

that was intense. And just, I was really trying to keep my mind, like, occupied, and I was really, I really dug into that new gig, and I was working really hard at it, and the commute was brutal, but um, we, yeah, I was just, I was just trying to keep everyone together, and just support you two, instead of, I don't know, I don't, I don't know how it would have been different. I, I think if it was If I, if I knew from day one that this was our child, like, you know, um, I think that would have been totally

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:14:20

different. Did you not feel like that? So you, you didn't feel as sure as I did? No, I

Joe Fulginiti: 00:14:25

mean, in the name thing, in the training, the stat, the statistics were 60%. of the foster kids get reunified. That was a high number. So I was like, oh God, how do we, you know? Yeah. They were, they did a really good job of training us in the foster care, um, in the Extraordinary Families, um, classes to just prepare yourself for, like, the reality of what you're getting into. They

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:14:59

definitely didn't sugarcoat

Joe Fulginiti: 00:15:00

anything. No. The second class, we, I drove away, when we drove away from, there were eight hour classes on Saturday afternoons. So, at a full eight hour day, you drive down, you drive down to wherever that was on, in downtown Los Angeles. You, you have a full day of class. You're watching videos, you're talking to people, and there's all of their staff there training you. And after the second one, They showed videos of foster kids who hated their foster parents. Yeah. And it was brutal. I was like, oh, we're not doing this. I

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:15:35

know. Every time, every drive home, one of us or the other would be like, oh, hell no. We're not doing this. I'm not doing

Joe Fulginiti: 00:15:42

this. We, we were really researching all the options at that time. Yeah. I remember going through like the Asian Adoption Agency. They were just like, They were like, it's like a nine year waiting

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:15:55

list. Oh, you mean like the International Adoption Agency to, yeah. And there were limits too. There was like, I think for China, like you had to be 35 and under. So we like, we weren't even qualified

Joe Fulginiti: 00:16:07

for that. South America had stopped doing it. Yeah. A lot of places. Came in there. Yeah. So yeah, this is, you know, this is one of those, I don't know, what is it, 10 different agencies we researched? In person, did the training, took the classes, yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:16:23

We really walked through it. Can you talk about, um, how this has, this experience, um, has affected our relationship? You mentioned that we went through a lot of failure, which is an interesting word that you used before. Um, just talk about that a little bit.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:16:43

Well, it definitely, definitely made us stronger. Cause like I, I always felt like I could, you know, go into battle with you, but I mean, we did it, you know, we did it twice. Yeah. And you, you were really great about it. And you know, you know that, you know, I, you know, you are the best one, but, uh, what do you mean? Well, but you're at it, your, your mental, um, like the way you were going into this, the way you were like your vision, your positive attitude, your, um, the way you manifested all this was just. Thank you

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:17:28

for mentioning that because I feel like that's a big part of it that and obviously it's easy for me to sit here now or us to sit here now and say, Oh, it was all, you know, we, we visioned it and you know, all that stuff. And it doesn't always go that way, but, but yeah, I did definitely go into it. Um, Uh, consciously and with a vision that I held on to very strongly and if people would ever ask like if there's anything that they could do to help during the process, I said, yeah, like if you could hold a clear vision of us becoming a forever family, that would really Help and I'll never forget at the at the adoption party, thanking everyone truly from the bottom of my heart, whoever sent us a positive thought or a wish or support because I believe in all of that. And I believe that we collectively manifested. That and also like it was important to me that we were connected as I said with the the person who's It was her path to be in our family as well, and I truly believe that

Joe Fulginiti: 00:18:35

yeah, but you you Constantly you you wouldn't even entertain My thoughts of in negativity, you, you would always, you would constantly tell me, um, no, this is, I'm not going there with, this is happening, you know, when I, when I would say, well, what if this, what if that, and you were like, that's, I don't even, you're like, don't even, I'm not going there. It's, this is, this is, if this girl's meant to be ours, she meant to be ours. And I'm not going to. I'm not going to handle this part of her life in that kind of fear. Like I, you know, that's just me though. Right,

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:19:11

right. I remember actually specifically one evening we were in our bedroom and I remember looking at you and all of a sudden realizing that you didn't share that same, uh, like in your bones resolve that this was definitely happening. Do you remember that moment? And I was like, I was like every day. Are you letting in fear and doubt? I was like, are you?

Joe Fulginiti: 00:19:33

You can't do that. I know, you always coach me up. So that, that was great. I, I think every, every partnership needs one of them. Yeah. You know, they need someone that's like, has serious resolve.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:19:45

And I, I do want to also just mention though, getting back to that, um, I wanted it, that I believe that it was Isabella's life path as well. Like, I, I just want to speak to the fact that she did have a birth family and that When we, when I went to that healer, um, to get like guidance and counsel about how to handle getting the phone call and about connecting with the person who was supposed to be in our family, um, we were told very clearly by this Woman who is a channeler and a wonderful sound healer that she had heard from the ancestors, and you can take this or leave this. Some people will be like, this is bs. But I truly believed it, that she had heard from the ancestors, that the ancestors had gotten together, her ancestors and our ancestors, and agreed. It was a match, and so that was huge for me, too. This woman kept saying that she kept hearing as if it was coming over a CB radio. It's a match. It's a match. It's a match. And so that also felt good, and that's why when we got that confirmation about her name being the same name that we had chosen all those years ago, not just the first name, but the middle name, To me, it just felt like I can really hang on to that. That's something I can like, really, that's a sign I can believe in. The signs

Joe Fulginiti: 00:21:14

were strong, yeah. That sign, I mean, I always love reading the letter you wrote to Isabella Rose when you thought you were, when you were pregnant. Yeah. And like that letter, it was so interesting that you wrote a letter to your Unborn child. Yes. And

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:21:34

you? Yeah. It's just, and I told her that was her name. I was like, yeah. In the letter, that's our top name is Isabella Rose And I still have the letter Isabella Rose.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:21:42

Exactly like that. Yep. So yeah, that, that, that. And then Dominic with Dominic's birthday being on my birthday Exactly. On the exact same day. And then the. The nurse that handed him over to us was named Tony, right after your dad passed, and your dad's name was Tony. So there was these crazy signs from both kids that helped me a lot. I kind of needed that. But it definitely helped me. When I would get doubt at, you know, in my In my dark, um, solitude, I'd be like, okay, no, no, this is gonna, this is gonna happen because it has to, you know? Yep. Yep. And I tried to do everything you recommended, like pray to my mom and all that, and my mom was, I felt my mom was definitely there for both children. She, there's something about Izzy and there's something about Dominic that are absolute perfect matches for my mom. My mom would have loved both of these children. Beyond belief for, for exactly who they are. So that's. That's something that that carried me too. Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:22:54

Yeah. Um, let's talk about parenting real quick. One thing I've noticed is we never fought until we had kids. Well,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:23:07

until we had the second kid. We

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:23:08

rarely fought. But even with with just with Izzy, I noticed the fighting starting, but then with with the two kids for sure we've never fought as much. And it's not like You know, terrible fighting. It's just,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:23:24

um, being

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:23:25

annoyed. Annoyed. End of the rope. Very little reserve tank. Yeah. Talk about

Joe Fulginiti: 00:23:32

that. Like, like, yeah. I've never heard you ever say, I need help, until Dom. Then you're like, I need help. And you know, you'd be with Dom and I'd be with Isabella and I'd hear you scream that and I'd be like, what? You know, and it's, it's um, Yeah, I don't recall fighting with Izzy though. I only recall it after Dominic. The second kid is exponentially harder. Yes, it's true. And we both work, um, uh, you know, then we, we pack, I mean, what, three months after Dominic's adoption was finalized we packed up and relocated from California to upstate New York. Yep. That was, that's hard. Yep. Um.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:24:23

Also being an older parent. I think there's some really amazing benefits to being an older parent, emotional sobriety being like up there.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:24:32

Financially a little

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:24:33

better. Financially too. However, energy level wise, yeah, I think it's really difficult. We have a two year old, you know, two year old and a seven year old and we're in our early fifties and that is, I just keep reminding myself, Anderson Cooper has babies, Anderson Cooper. Babies. I always

Joe Fulginiti: 00:24:53

think about the, the older Baldwin, he's like, what is he 65 or something? And he's got a newborn.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:24:59

Yeah. Right. But that, it's also different because they have like all kinds of help and all the money in the world. Sure. And like all that stuff. Yeah. But yeah, it, the energy level thing is difficult. And also the, the difference in age between the two of them is very difficult for us Right now, Izzy is seven, Dom is two. And so they do not, you know, they don't play the same way. Yeah. Um, he's very in destructo mode right now, so he's constantly destroying all her stuff.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:25:29

Yeah, that, that part is really hard. The fact that they're not, I mean, the whole, I remember after Izzy, for years we thought, Okay, let's have a second child so that she has someone to play with. Right, and she always said she wanted. She always said that, and now she wants nothing to do with them, which is hard. And, and I hate keeping them apart, but they're happier when they're off doing their own things. I mean, she is. He always wants to be around her. Right. Um,

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:25:55

But when he gets But they've had their moments of, of fun. Yeah. Together, but it's difficult. Small,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:26:01

small, um, moments of time. But, that is hard. And, and, you know, the second kid is hard. We're both still working. That's hard. But, I You know, the moments when we have, like over the holidays, when we were stuck in our house by ourselves and couldn't invite anyone over, and it was just us, and we were all just, you know, having hot chocolate, and great food, and just being with each other, those moments of pure joy is what it's all about. That's what it That's when you're just like, Oh God, it was totally worth it. And there's always those moments of joy. And that's, that's what I'm definitely just trying to focus on those moments of joy. And I, I, I don't know. I think every parent feels that way. I mean, I, you know, there's parents at drop off today that were like, Oh God. You know, and they only have one kid, you know. So, and it's great to commiserate with other parents and hear that it's not easy for anyone. Right now, you know, right. It's I don't know any parents that are like, this is so easy. It's nothing,

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:27:07

you know, it's a breeze,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:27:08

especially when, especially the parents at school and even the other school we were just at in Los Angeles. All those parents with two kids. Yeah, it's like the stories are just Brutal.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:27:18

Yeah, it's, it's challenging. And then, um, special needs are challenging too. Um, our daughter has special needs and she's amazing and wonderful. And we would not change a thing. She's autistic. She is fantastic, but she's, you know, there's special needs there. And so that's a, an extra thing. And, and then. It remains to be seen whether Dominic will have special needs or not. They do prep you in with the foster to adopt journey that a lot of these children will have special needs because of what they've been exposed to and what they've been through. And, um, that's not to say that that's necessarily why, quote unquote, but, um, You know, it's something to, to think about and something that we need to be on the lookout for and just to help get the services that are necessary if and when that becomes necessary.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:28:09

Yeah, and I'm, I'm, I'm also like completely, I don't know if it's her special needs or not, but there's something so unique about Isabella Rose. I, I don't know, maybe I have special needs because I, I feel like. I really relate to her, you know, there's something about Izzy that I, I don't know, she's so unique and so interesting. It's kind of what I love about her. I love that she's different. And I, you know, when she asks me all the time, like, Daddy, it's okay to be different, right? It's okay to be, you know, you know, do your own thing. And I'm like, Honey, I prefer that, like, you know, I'm, I'm different, look at me, look at mom. And so, I'm always encouraging that, but that's, just her little, her little quirky attitude and her little, all those differences are what make, I don't know, it's what I love about her. Right. I don't, I wouldn't want her to be any other way. I wouldn't want her to be typical. Right.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:29:14

And, and Dominic's got his own quirks too. And he's amazing. I don't

Joe Fulginiti: 00:29:19

even know how to explain Dom. Dom's only two and a half. So it's hard to put a finger on it, but he is, he's all over the place. He is. He smiles, he's, yeah, he's smiling, he's like a bowling ball rolling around the house destroying everything, but he's all smiles and he's always, both children. We're always, always happy and my, my fondest memory of Izzy and to explain to anyone how happy she was is during, right after COVID, right after, right after the school started opening up after the real big hit in 2020 of COVID, they would be testing all the kids with the temperature gauge at the door before they let them in the school. The school grounds and they would always say to every kid, how do you feel today? How do you feel? Yeah, so they would every kid would go in there and say, oh, I feel okay. Yep. I'm fine I'm fine. And when they would say that to Izzy, she'd be like, I'm happy.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:30:15

Yeah. Yeah,

Joe Fulginiti: 00:30:16

totally. And I remember teachers All the way from preschool, all the way to first grade and pre K, they all said to me, I've never seen a child this happy. She is.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:30:28

Both of our children are remarkably

Joe Fulginiti: 00:30:29

happy. Yeah, so that's, there's got to be something to that, you know. I always thought that they somehow know that they were, I don't know, they had like a second chance. They feel like they know, they knew that at like age one and two.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:30:43

Hmm. Well, yeah, if you believe that everyone chooses their own life path. and life journey. It's like that, this is the experience they were here for. Yeah. They came for this. And that's why whenever, um, when we play music, especially, I feel like they both really come alive. Yeah. And they, they want that, you know, and they love that. They love the music. They love the freak show. Yeah. They wanna be a part of it. of our freak show and they fit in. No, they part of the tribe for sure. They're a

Joe Fulginiti: 00:31:12

perfect fit. And that's, that's really the, that's the long and the short of it. Yeah. But they're a perfect fit for us. And the u the universe did it or you did it? Someone did it.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:31:23

Someone, I think the universe did it. Yeah. Would you, what, what would you say to, to anybody who's interested in this road, in traveling the

Joe Fulginiti: 00:31:31

road? What would you tell them? I would say do the research. You know, really do the research, you know, and, and take the classes first. There's always gonna be some kind of orientation that we, we went through, you know, take the classes, do the research, and just, and just be ready for it, you know, because when, when we were in it, it was hard. And I remember being incredibly stressed out. The result or the the it's worth it. Like the risk is worth the reward because the reward is Unbelievable, right if you if you're lucky enough to get through it,

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:32:09

right and and a lot of people Which you'll hear in subsequent shows a lot of people go through it once and it doesn't it doesn't turn into a forever match and then it, it does the next time or even the next time I have a, there's one guy who's on the podcast in an episode coming up where he, he went through it like, I think like six or seven times. And he started out as just wanting to foster, but then he was like falling in love with all of these kids and, and it just took that long. And now the one that is finally his forever child. He's like, this is the one, like, this is the match. It's meant to

Joe Fulginiti: 00:32:48

be. Yeah. I think if it's supposed to happen, it'll happen. I think. Exactly. Yeah. And when it does, it's just, it's magic. Yep. No matter how hard it is. I mean, we don't have it any harder than anyone else. It just. Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:33:03

Well, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. Yeah. Thanks for thinking about it. Yeah. You have anything else you want to share, say, or questions or answers

Joe Fulginiti: 00:33:13

or? No, I'm just dying to hear. I'm dying to hear these stories. Yeah. Thank you

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:33:18

for having me. Thank you for joining me, and I'll see you on the flip.

Joe Fulginiti: 00:33:25

On the ride home. Yeah. All right. Bye.

Rachel Fulginiti: 00:33:27

Bye. This has been the Foster to Forever podcast. Happy stories of non traditional families born through Foster to Adopt. Produced by Aquarius Rising. Edited by Jason Sarubbi at Split Rock Studios. Original music composed by Joe Fulginiti for more information or to stay in touch, visit FromFosterToForever. com. That's FromFoster2Forever. Com. And stay connected with us on Instagram at FromFoster2ForeverPodcast. That's Foster2ForeverPodcast. We'll see you next time.